Just Like A Drug
by xXPrincessMXx
Summary: Roxas is brokenhearted when his girlfriend Naminé leaves him for Riku. When he meets Axel and Kairi, the new kids on his school, his life changes forever. -Roxiri- Rated T
1. The New Kids

**Rox**_iri_

_{She drew the words from my lips}  
-Wherever you go… I'll be always with you (too)-_

For Ruben : Thanks for reading this story, however I'm sure you don't like a thing about it ;) Thanks for picking up my mistakes… there were still a lot of them :$

For Kelly, Ruby and Lisette : Thanks for being my friend. I have no idea how you guys survive it, but you seem to do fine ;)

For Jimmy : Thanks for giving me so much inspiration and for the support xD Loads of negative support, of course, but it's still support, I guess ;)  
Thanks for being a part of this story :P

For everyone out there who likes my stories : I hope you guys like this just as much as you like the other stories.  
Enjoy!

**(Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts. You won't have to play the game to understand this story, but it's nice if I don't have to explain everything ;) )  
**_-AU {Roxiri}- _

Rated T  
**Romance**

_**Just **_**Like**__A___**Drug**_

_**CHAPTER ONE:  
The new kids  
_**_

Every day was waking up to a light I couldn't bear to see, but I couldn't bear to lose it either.  
It was the alarm clock of my mother.  
Bloody thing.  
When it was time to wake up, that stupid thing started to shine so bright it blinded you, no matter if you wrung your eyes open, or if you pressed them tightly shut.  
I woke up. Blinded again. By the alarm clock of my mother. She gave it to me when I killed my other alarm clock. 'Nice going, Roxas' She said when I came up to her and showed her the broken fragments of the alarm clock in the fond hope she would buy me a new one. Didn't work, she gave me hers instead of a new one.  
It's been a while ago, that time when I didn't need the alarm clock. It was when I had my first and only girlfriend. Naminé.  
Her blond hair always hid her round face and her cheeks were colored pink. When she would look up at me, her sky blue eyes piercing through me, her rosy lips would form a smile. A smile I'd miss for so long.  
She was the only one who understood me perfectly, who knew me from head to toe and could laugh with me about stupid things. For example when I'd walk into a wall again. And she let me stay up the whole night, only to think about her. And let me wake up at four o'clock again, just to remember her face again before I would head off to school.  
But after a year, she broke up with me. She loved someone else. Name's Riku. She didn't want to hurt me, so she broke up with me before she could break my heart.  
But she did already.  
She left me brokenhearted and with the stupid alarm clock of my mother.  
And suddendly the broken fragments of my other alarm clock looked an awfully lot like my heart.  
_**Broken.**_

So, today was like the other days. The alarm clock sent its burning light straight into my eyes and I knew it was time to wake up.  
Just like all the other days.  
I wanted to drown in them.  
But maybe today would be different. Maybe there would be a stop. Those days were I just walked around like a lifeless shell would be over. Maybe those days were I had to watch Riku kiss _my_ girl would be over. Those days were Sora and I would be sitting in complete silence because of _my_ girl would be over. Maybe it would be all over. Was that day today? Was it today where everything usual would end?  
So that was the only reason why I sat up in bed and dimmed the alarm clock. Headache.  
I rubbed over my forehead, hoping it would be gone when I just tried to rub it away.  
"Roxas? Are you up yet?" My mother's voice drifted upstairs, like a balloon.  
No. Yes. Maybe.  
"Yeah. I'll be downstairs within five minutes!" I replied. _Liar_.  
So I stepped out of bed and tripped over my shoes. Great start of the day. It only made the headache worse.  
I wondered if I was worth of it, worth of standing up and go on again.  
But maybe… it would be all over today.  
So I stood up again and took my jeans. When I pulled them on, I got a text message from Sora.  
That kid, with that '_cute_' chocolate brown, spiky hair and those '_gorgeous_' deep blue eyes, knew everything, and everything around and about school. Including everybody who was in it.  
_Dangerous_.  
He knew everything about every single person in school, knew exactly who was right and who was wrong. Walking truth. And extremely dangerous.  
If you've got Sora against you, you better pray for rescue. He was able to make the whole school stand up against you. Including the fucking cheerleaders.  
Sora seemed to be so attractive every girl would be drooling over him. Not that he minded. Not that he cared. He only used that fact to be superior to his opponents. Scary Sora.  
But Sora was always nice to me. He was my best friend. And probably the only friend I had.  
Sora didn't mind when I was that silent. He didn't mind when I chocked it all out in a stream of curses. He didn't mind that I was myself. Probably the only one who didn't mind.  
And I didn't mind that Sora could break somebody down from head to toe. I didn't mind that he was so damn cheerful all the time. I didn't mind he was himself. I'm not the only one for sure. (And then I'm not even talking about those stupid cheerleaders. They would all be dreaming of having the 'great' Sora into their bed. That's just gross… So I usually never count them to the ''friends' of Sora' list)  
But Sora spent his time with me, and I with him. So that made our friendship stronger than all the others Sora had.  
But when he texted me this early in the morning, something was definitely wrong, or definitely good.

'**Hey Roxas! We've got new classmates! So be early, or you'll miss them. And I'll kill you if you do'**

I stared at my cellphone. He'd be better kidding me! I hated to even make eye contact with someone new! Even with people I knew already… except from Sora and my family of course. And Sora knew that! So… why did he text me about those things? To warn me? But then why did he say I had to be early? I saw no common sense in his message, so I would act like I hadn't read it. I nodded slightly to myself, before my mother called me from downstairs. Angry.  
"Roxas, are you planning on getting late? You only have five minutes left!"  
No, I wasn't planning on getting late. But since I got only five minutes left, I could maybe use it as excuse to be late. A grin made its way up to my face. _Loser_.

An half hour later, I stood in front of the door of my classroom. My teacher would be mad at me. Sora would be laughing at me before killing me, me being embarrassed as ever, just because he would use it as excuse to stand in the spotlights once again.  
And those new kids? Would probably laugh their heads off about my red face.  
Whose plan was it again to come late? Mine. Why again?  
Only because I didn't want to meet those new kids? Embarrassing. Me, the only one who wouldn't get around those new guys. Damn.  
I took a deep breath and walked inside.  
"So Roxas, you decided to show up after all?" Like I could expect, my teacher was incredibly mad at me.  
I bowed my head and shut the door without turning. "Sorry sir" I murmured. I hoped he could hear that I was sorry.  
He sighed. "Well, get a seat and if you're ever this late again, I'll have to report you"  
"Yes sir" I murmured again, without meeting his eyes. My cheeks felt like they were boiling.  
But I had to look up, to find Sora and quickly walk over to him, trying not to trip over a backpack.  
I raised my eyes and searched through those rows of my classmates and found Sora. With two strangers. Sora waved at me, causing everybody to look in his direction. Sora smiled and I resisted the urge to run away.  
But I made my way over to Sora and managed to get to him without tripping. At least, for a while.  
Because Sora had dumped his backpack in the middle of the way and I tripped. Of course.  
Sora chuckled. "Steady pace, pal" He helped me up and placed me in the seat beside him. I dropped my backpack on the floor and kept my eyes on the table.  
"Roxas, I'm glad I can _finally_ introduce you to Axel and Kairi" Sora told me with his famous grin in his voice. Instinctly, I knew those names belonged to the two strangers. That didn't make it better…  
Axel? Weird name. I had never heard a name like that ever before. Same goes for 'Kairi'. Where did they come from? Like it would matter. They would never speak to me, I would never speak to them.  
But I figured it would be at least nice to look up while introducing myself. After that, I could still run away, right?  
So I raised my eyes and met green ones. A pair of light green eyes with a curious glance. I wanted to scream. Was it really Naminé who had made me like this? Hard to believe, but it was actually true.  
The green eyes belonged to a guy with flaming red hair which spiked up into the air. How much gel did that guy use? He had tattoos in the form of triangles under his eyes and he wore a black sweater and baggy jeans. Was he a skater? Naminé told me once she hated them because they were unfriendly to everybody. I always assumed they were bad news. But this one looked friendly. And everyone told me I wasn't allowed to pull my conclusions from some rumor spread around.  
The guy extended his hand to me. "I'm Axel. A.X.E.L. Got it memorized?"  
Totally stunned I gave him my hand and chocked out my name. "R-Ro-Roxas"  
Axel flashed me a grin and I stared at him, curious.  
"Hi, I'm Kairi. Nice to meet you" a soft and kind voice interrupted me in my thoughts. When my eyesight shifted from Axel to the voice, it felt like a bolt of lightning washed through my veins.  
The owner of the voice was a girl with long, auburn hair, and her pale, heart-shaped face was soft and gently, just as her voice had been. Her deep, dark blue eyes were encircled by thick, long eyelashes. It was heartbreaking that Sora was the attractive one here on this moment. For a moment, all I wanted was that girl, I didn't give a damn about the fact I only knew her for a few seconds. All I ever wanted was this girl. Kairi.  
I could only stare at her. But then I got my self-control back and blinked twice. "H-h-h-hi"  
This time it felt great to have an excuse to stutter through my words. I wasn't social, so nobody would be surprised that I stuttered a bit when talking to others than Sora.  
The edges of her full, rosy lips twitched, but then she gave in and gave me a slight smile.  
My heart skipped a beat. It was so long ago since it had done that for the last time. Maybe too long ago. But I couldn't be falling for her, right? Just a simple affection… that's all.  
But it didn't felt like one…  
U-oh…


	2. The Run

**Rox**_iri_

_{She drew the words from my lips}  
-Wherever you go… I'll be always with you (too)-_

For Ruben : Thanks for reading this story, however I'm sure you don't like a thing about it ;) Thanks for picking up my mistakes… there were still a lot of them :$

For Kelly, Ruby and Lisette : Thanks for being my friend. I have no idea how you guys survive it, but you seem to do fine ;)

For Jimmy : Thanks for giving me so much inspiration and for the support xD Loads of negative support, of course, but it's still support, I guess ;)  
Thanks for being a part of this story :P

For everyone out there who likes my stories : I hope you guys like this just as much as you like the other stories.  
Enjoy!

**(Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts. You won't have to play the game to understand this story, but it's nice if I don't have to explain everything ;) )  
**_-AU {Roxiri}- _

Rated T  
**Romance**

_**Just **_**Like**__A___**Drug**_

_**CHAPTER Two:  
The Run  
_**_

The next hour, Axel and Kairi stuck with us, and Sora talked, I listened.  
"So, how come you are in the same class with each other?" Sora asked them.  
My eyes were fixed on Kairi and wouldn't leave her.  
Sora talked, I listened. Axel talked, Kairi listened.  
"Oh, we're twins, ain't that right, sister?" Axel wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pressed her tightly against his chest, while rubbing his fist over her head.  
"Hey, cut it out!" Kairi wrung herself out of his grip and stuck her tongue at him. I had to remember it wasn't nice to stare at people, but she was hypnotizing me. "That you're my brother doesn't mean you can play the big brother"  
Axel pouted. "Aww, but I'm still five minutes older than you are, sis-sy"  
Kairi rolled her eyes and sighed. "Really, what cruel fate let me end up as your sister?"  
I laughed. Couldn't help it. It was like the first time ever since Naminé ran off with that Riku. It sounded real. I had laughed a lot before, of course. But they were all fake.  
I could tell Sora noticed as well. He stared at me. Then he frowned and looked at Kairi. Then back to me and he cocked his head to the side. Questioning. I cringed away and I shrugged. Denied it. Denied the fact I was hopelessly falling for this girl.  
What was she doing to me? Or, what was she doing with me?

In the break, some damn cheerleader decided she had a chance on Sora and sat with Axel, Sora, Kairi and me. Kairi still stuck with us, and I was kind of surprised. I thought girls always stuck with each other. Naminé did in any case. Maybe Axel and Kairi were inseparable, or something like that. But back to the cheerleader.  
Name's Olette, and she was fucking annoying. She was a friend of Naminé and had thick, curly, brown hair and dark green eyes. "Hey Sora! Want some company?" She asked with her high, shrilly voice. It hurt my ears. I resisted the urge to place my hands over my ears in a hopeless attempt to tune her out.  
Sora flashed her a polite smile and she nearly fainted. Sora was annoyed by her, but he could still pull off that smile. That's simply amazing. Kairi looked interested at Olette and Axel nearly burst out in laughter. Screw you, Naminé. Skaters are a whole lot nicer than you ever were. I grinned back at him before I realized I was actually grinning.  
Axel saw me looking and he winked at me. Then he laid his finger on his lip.  
But Olette saw our non-verbal conversation and she raised her brow. Then she looked at me and back to Axel. Then to Kairi. "Well, it's nice you found yourself a boyfriend on your first day" She said.  
Wait! Who was she talking to? Both Axel and Kairi didn't know. Axel grimaced and Kairi's eyes darkened before she looked away. I winced a bit and the warmth raised to my cheeks before I sunk lower in my chair. Oh God… this was so embarrassing!  
And I just met her! I wished I could disappear right now…  
"Um… you were talking to me?" Axel asked finally, while saving me without knowing.  
Olette sighed and rolled her eyes. "Well, duh"  
Kairi shook her head and leaned back in her chair. I found myself staring at her again. I couldn't get enough of her, she was so… heartwarming. My heart was frozen when Naminé left me, but thanks to Kairi, I was repaired. Or, melted was a better description. But with what price? What were the consequences?  
Axel shook his head like madly. "Nu-uh! I've got myself a girlfriend, you know" he told the stupid cheerleader. Why did I had the feeling he lied? Not that it mattered to me.  
Sora looked away, to the door of the hall. "I think you got practice on the field, Olette, don't you have to join your friends before you go?"  
He remembered her name? That was a first to me… since I came back.  
Olette suddendly looked shocked and she shot a glance on the clock on the wall. She cursed under her breath before she waved at Sora and ran off.  
"Nice save, Sora" I told him. Sora grinned and Kairi smiled again. Axel rolled with his eyes. "Sheesh, is she always like that?"  
Sora sighed annoyed. "Always." His eyebrows touched each other in a angry frown.  
"And then they say I always look like I'm pissed off…" I said to Sora, who looked like he was ready to beat that Olette girl to pulp. If he did, I wouldn't care. Not at all.  
Kairi laughed again. "If she's always that clingy to Sora, I would've been pissed off too! No privacy with such a girl around your friend"  
Axel and I stared at her. Me in amazement, Axel in curiosity. "Say, sis?"  
Kairi cocked her head to the side. "What?"  
"I never heard you laugh so much after-"  
She shook her head and looked past her brother. "None of your business"  
Axel raised his brow. Then he punched her on her arm.  
"Autsh! Is your new record trying to be a jerk all the time?" she growled at him. "Take someone of your own length!" That wouldn't be possible… Axel was taller than everybody else I knew.  
I felt the corners of my lips turn upward. Kairi smiled back at me. "Oh, don't worry, as long as he can irritate me, he won't be testing his skills on you."  
Axel pouted. "Yeah, why don't you try to steal my friends, Kairi? I have more than enough either way! Now I don't have a single one anymore…" he mocked while bowing his head to the table in defeat.  
Kairi rolled with her eyes and patted his head. "Give it another try, Axe. Maybe next time you've got more success!"  
But of course, when everything is perfect, something has to interrupt. Who would give me the whole day to stare at Kairi? Nobody would. By the way, they wanted to stare at her themselves. How come egocentric? Well, since destiny didn't allow me to stare at her the whole day… Naminé appeared with that Riku guy.  
"Can we sit with you guys?" Naminé asked with that smile of her. I winced again and my face fell. Not again. Oh no, not again. If she would just sit there and talk to Sora or something… I could survive. But she turned my way and smiled a devious smile to me. "Why, _hello_ there, _Roxas_!" Yeah, why don't you get cocky because I was trying to get over you? Oh no… be sarcastic to resist the memories… be sarcastic, save yourself…  
Not again. But I couldn't stop the flow of memories that smile and that sentence brought back…  
STOP IT! Oh, for the love for all that's holy, why wasn't I strong enough?  
I jumped up, shoved my chair away with such a hurry it fell on the ground and I stumbled backwards. I kept my eyes down and turned on my heels, ready to make a run for it. Which was exactly what I did. I ran away and didn't stop. Never stopped. Not if that bitch keeps following me. Not if my heart ached to see Kairi back, to get her out of Naminé's sight before Naminé could hurt her too. Not if my mind was confused as hell…  
Never stopped. And I ran away.

"That was stupid" Sora told me with a disapproving tone in his voice. School was out and I skipped the rest of the day. We sat on the clock tower and Sora was angry. Or, maybe disappointed was a better word. My vocabulary wasn't that great as Naminé's was. Before she turned into the witchy bitch she was now.  
"I'm sorry" I said with a dull voice. Sora sighed and stared off in distance. "You don't believe me, do you?" I asked him with a small voice.  
"Well, let's say I thought you were over your… fear of humans… Or, I hoped it. So _I_ am sorry for that"  
I twiddled with my thumbs. "Yeah… to be honest with you… I thought I was too"  
Sora looked up with a curious expression. Where did his curiosity come from? It was like he thought he couldn't know enough. Ah, well, it wasn't annoying, so… I would forgive him. Like I always did.  
"But I think it was Naminé's fault everything came back" I ended. Hesitant. I had no idea why she was still a strong factor in my personality. I guess I didn't want to know. Which was the case, actually.  
"Oh" was Sora's brilliant reply.  
We sat there for a while, just staring at the sunset. Today had been a change and a disaster at the same time. Was it even possible to feel happy and sad at the same time?  
I think it was. Because I felt so.  
My life had made a spin today. From down to up, from up to down. It felt like a rollercoaster.  
And the new girl with auburn hair and blue eyes had everything to do with it.  
Except for the down parts. That ones were reserved for my bitchy ex-girlfriend.  
When would I stop running away every time I saw her? I couldn't run away from her every time I saw her, can I? I had to find some solution to that.  
"Roxas?" Sora's voice was serious, more serious than I ever heard him before.  
"Yeah?" U-oh, what was wrong?  
"You think Kairi is the one who made you smile today?" His blue eyes were only worried. And trustable. I knew I could trust him, but what if I couldn't trust myself?  
"I… think she was…" I said, sounding uncertain and awfully shy. Damn.  
"Good thing or a bad one?" Yeah. Sora knew exactly what I was thinking about before he showed up. There never seemed to be a bad thing about falling in love. Until you broke up or something wrong happened. And that was exactly the thing I was afraid of. I didn't want to hate Kairi like I hated Naminé. I didn't want to love Kairi on the way I still loved Naminé. I hated that girl and I loved her at the same time. I didn't want that with Kairi. Only love. Not that hatred. She deserved love, not blinded hatred. And she definitely didn't deserve a broken shell like me.  
I stared at the ground. It was pretty high up here. What would happen if I jumped down? I would only break my neck, but well… yeah. It was never a good sign when you got suicide ideas.  
But that wasn't the point. I didn't want to kill myself at all…  
I just wanted… to be with Kairi.  
They should write a book about the love guys like me went through. I would be the first one who was going to buy it. And I'm the first one to make notes in its sides.

"I dunno… maybe a good thing… maybe bad" I shrugged after a while. "I can't tell yet"  
Sora shook his head, sadly. "Yeah, if she's going to be like Naminé…" he shivered. He knew everything. Even my unspoken thoughts. Like he always did. "Really, if she's going to do the same to you as Naminé did, I'm so going to kick her ass, cute face or not"  
I smiled a bit. "Axel would probably kill you, and I definitely too" No kidding.  
Sora laughed. "Thanks. You give me a lot of support, you know"  
He stretched himself out. "I just don't want to lose my best friend again… to whatever I lost you once"  
To the emptiness of a broken heart. To the lifeless ocean I swam into. To the depression with its valleys without hills. I sighed. "I don't really know where I got myself into… I just know it wasn't a good thing at all…" He looked up, nodded like he knew what I tried to say. I owed him a sea-salt ice-cream now…  
"Well, so far, so good… Kairi hasn't broken your heart yet, so I'm grateful for her that she makes you happy these days…" Sora said with a cheerful voice. How could he be so sure she felt the same way? She wasn't and she wouldn't. Period.  
"I only know her for a couple of hours!" I discussed with him.  
He only rolled with his eyes. "And you're already in love with her. Everybody can tell"  
My eyes widened. No way! He had to be kidding me, or I would be dead. Dead… and buried.  
"Wh- No, it-Ho- You…I-W-How-I" I spluttered, totally panicking now. Maybe I was more obvious than I thought I was.  
"All right, all right, only me" He said in defeat. Joy. I relaxed again.  
I just smiled at that. "Don't you feel superior now you're the only one who could see?"  
He laughed. "Kind of. But since you're usually the one who's depressed all the time…"  
I punched his arm. "Shut up until you know where you're talking about"  
We both laughed and I was surprised at the sound of it. It felt good. And it felt too long ago…


	3. Obessions And Comebacks

**Rox**_iri_

_{She drew the words from my lips}  
-Wherever you go… I'll be always with you (too)-_

For Ruben : Thanks for reading this story, however I'm sure you don't like a thing about it ;) Thanks for picking up my mistakes… there were still a lot of them :$

For Kelly, Ruby and Lisette : Thanks for being my friend. I have no idea how you guys survive it, but you seem to do fine ;)

For Jimmy : Thanks for giving me so much inspiration and for the support xD Loads of negative support, of course, but it's still support, I guess ;)  
Thanks for being a part of this story :P

For everyone out there who likes my stories : I hope you guys like this just as much as you like the other stories.  
Enjoy!

**(Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts. You won't have to play the game to understand this story, but it's nice if I don't have to explain everything ;) )  
**_-AU {Roxiri}- _

Rated T  
**Romance**

_**Just **_**Like**__A___**Drug**_

_**CHAPTER THREE:  
Obsessed and Comebacks  
_**_

When I came home, I dropped my backpack in the corner of the living room and sunk back in a chair. I dropped my head in my hands and pressed my eyes shut.  
Without Sora, my mind could only concentrate on the one thing I didn't want to think about.  
I listened to my confused thoughts and I recognized a pattern in it.  
_Kairi, what am I doing, Kairi, what's wrong with me, Kairi, skaters are nice, Kairi, Naminé, Kairi, Naminé, Kairi, Naminé, Kairi, Naminé…  
_The two girls appeared in front of my closed eyes. One of them had long, blonde hair. The other had long, auburn hair. They had both blue eyes, but they were the same, yet so completely different.  
And they both… stole my heart.  
I sighed and shook my head. No.  
_I need to do homework, or my teachers will kill me and Kairi… NO! Surely Sora must be happy I'm not that down anymore and Kairi… SHUT UP about her! You don't even know her!  
_A strange wave of a newfound feeling washed through me, leaving me in shock. What did that girl do with my body, my mind, my heart… my… whole… being?  
Something about Kairi was familiar. Like I had seen her before. But I _knew_ I hadn't. This was the first time ever I saw her. And if I fell in love with her so… quickly… if I knew her from before, I would remember her, right? I would never ever forget her from this point. She had left her fingerprints in my heart the first seconds I saw her. She was simply amazing.  
I knew her for a couple of hours… and she was already the most important thing in my life.  
The center of my world, my whole being.  
My breath and my heartbeat.  
My everything…

My headache came back at six o'clock. It was like someone kept hitting me on my sore head with a gigantic hammer. I locked myself up in my room and clutched my head between my hands.  
The hammer came down on my head in a weird kind of a rhythm. _Kairi, Kairi, Kairi, Kairi, Kairi, Kairi._  
"Gah!"  
It felt like pure torture to have to think about her all the time, but it felt amazing to do as well. The rollercoaster was making me sick again. Sick of being away from her, sick of waiting for tomorrow. If there was any way to distract myself from this pain, I would take it with all what I had. Not much.  
I groaned and tried to hold my breath. Bad idea. I only ran out of breath. It didn't stop my mind from drawing that picture again. Drawing her before my eyes. Like my eyes weren't closed at all and she was standing in front of me. I could only watch myself thinking about her again and that was all.  
But it was terrifying to find myself being so obsessed with her. I had only seen her for a few hours, and all I could do was thinking about her.  
Was this all real? Was it all fake? Was this just an 'affection', like I assumed at first?  
What were these feelings? Who… who am I?

"Monohybrid crossings are crossings with one heritable property. That could be the haircolour or the eyecolour, whatever you want to study…" I sighed and tried to remember why I decided to study biology. Or, maybe more important, how I ended up studying biology.  
I guess it felt great to do something… just to distract myself.  
"What is a phenotype? It is about appearance… anything you can see from the genotype on the outside. But the phenotype is also dependent on the influence of environment, of course. Scars, for example, are an example from the phenotype, but it's not in the genotype.  
So, the genotype plus the influence of environment is the phenotype"  
I stared at my biology-book. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was. But still… I wondered… what made Kairi… well, Kairi? All I could see was the phenotype… but was I able to look for the 'influence of environment'? I had a feeling Kairi was so much more than just a… pretty face.  
And here I was again, thinking about her. All I ever did was thinking about her.  
I sighed again, and shut my book. I wasn't going to learn anything from it if I was thinking about Kairi every now and then. Or, better said, all the time.  
But still. What was Kairi hiding? Was there anything she wanted to hide? When that cheerleader embarrassed me, Kairi's eyes darkened with the speed of light. When she realized it wasn't meant for her, her eyes cleared up. Seriously, I _needed_ to know. I never thought pretty faces needed to hide things. People like Naminé were beloved by everyone. Kairi was clearly one of them. I mean, who wouldn't want to be with her? If even I felt this way about her, who wouldn't, right? If she had touched the heart of someone who had lost it for so long… why would she have to hide?  
I shook my head and curled up against the couch, hugged my knees and put my chin on my arms. I had to think this over and over again.  
What was Kairi doing now? I wondered if she thought of me too…

On the other side of Twilight Town, the _dark_ side of Twilight Town, stood a girl in the front of her new house. She looked down to the street under her feet. The wind played with her long, auburn hair and made her shiver. Her hands were balled to fists and her teeth sunk in her lip.  
"Thinking again?" A male voice called for her. Footsteps stopped right beside her.  
"Yes. Thinking again" The girl replied. Her voice was sad and it sounded darkly. Her usually bright, blue eyes were almost black. The boy beside her frowned in worry. His flaming red hair spiked right up to the sky and his green eyes were fixed on his sister when she looked back to the street again.  
"About who this time? If it's _him_, I'm going to find him and-"  
His sister looked up, scared and nervous, and placed a hand over his mouth. "Shhht!"  
"Kairi, he's _there_, not _here_!"  
The girl looked up at him, angry. "So what? It's still not very clever to talk about those things! Not there, and definitely not here!"  
Her brother sighed in defeat. "All right, you've got a point… well, but who was on your mind? It's safe enough here to say his name, right?"  
His sister looked up and suddendly there was a gigantic change. Her eyes cleared up and they were even brighter than usual, and there was a hint of violet in her eyes. The edges of her lips curled up in a small smile. She even seemed to radiate a soft glow around her. Her brother's eyes widened and he watched her look down again, but still with that smile. "I was thinking about Roxas"  
Her brother frowned again. "Huh? You mean that blond guy who ran off?"  
She nodded, and her eyes darkened again. "Yup. He ran away… from someone"  
"Kairi… I don't know, what if he's going to… to do the same as… you-know-who… I can't see you that broken anymore…" His sister sighed annoyed. She didn't like the way he was always pulling her back into her past.  
"Axel, it's okay. He didn't do anything to me back there and I will not let him do those things to me"  
Her brother raised a brow. "You've gotta promise"  
She sighed. "I promise"  
Axel smiled. "Well then… I'll leave you alone to think… about that guy then"  
Kairi watched her brother disappear in the dark house and stared up to the sky.  
"I wonder if you're just as impressed by me as I'm by you…"  
The stars didn't say a word, just kept her secret, while they shined above her head and above the head of the boy she was thinking about…

"Mom, like I said, I'm not hungry" She usually never believed me, so this wouldn't be a change.  
"Roxas, you need to eat! Did you see yourself in de mirror? You're so skinny that you can count every bone in your body!"  
I grimaced. It wasn't _that _worse. It had been worse.  
When Naminé left me for Riku, I stopped eating. Maybe I would've stopped breathing as well if Sora didn't catch me before I was really… gone.  
I still wasn't… healed, but it was at least getting better. And now there was Kairi, of course. But she wasn't around, so I had to convince my mother by myself that I wasn't hungry.  
"Mo-om! I don't want to eat, because I'm not hungry!" I whined while she tried to pull me downstairs at my arm. Sheesh, how many times did I have to say I was NOT hungry?  
Suddendly my mother's green eyes widened. "Hey… what did you say?"  
"That I'm not hungry!" I said, getting annoyed by her. I folded my arms stubbornly over my chest.  
A grin made its way up to her face. She ran a hand through her short, blonde hair and shrugged casually. "Oh, if you don't want to eat, that's fine… but tomorrow you're eating, okay?" She added sternly.  
And my mother went downstairs. I stood there, stunned. She _never _gave up! This was going to be bad!  
I walked to the staircase on my tiptoes and tried to listen.  
"Demyx! Roxas isn't hungry and he-"  
My dad sighed. "Well, just force him to shove his food down his throat then… that'll be the best"  
I grimaced. That would be horrible… I could imagine my mother shoving food down my throat… Ouch… I shivered with horror and listened again.  
"No, but do you remember the usual way for him to say he's not hungry?"  
"Yeah, of course! That zombie way: 'I'm not hungry'"  
When he imitated me, I felt a cold shiver ran through my spine. I had really been acting like a zombie then.  
"U-huh, but guess what?"  
"Err… he's not hungry again?"  
I slapped my forehead. Sheesh, brilliant, dad!  
"That as well, but he… he's… he… I think he's back from his… his breakdown" My mother whispered excited.  
My father was quiet for a moment. "You've gotta be kidding me, Larxene!"  
"No, I'm not! His eyes were… sparkling again! I think he's gonna be back very soon!"  
I didn't wait for my father's reply. I had heard enough already.  
So it was pretty clear I was in love again. But was it the… 'correct' way of coming back?  
There was just no common sense in this! I was broken up by love and I was coming back by love?  
Broken by Naminé, coming back by Kairi.  
Who was going to hurt me more?


	4. Nightmares And Freaks

**Rox**_iri_

_{She drew the words from my lips}  
-Wherever you go… I'll be always with you (too)-_

For Ruben : Thanks for reading this story, however I'm sure you don't like a thing about it ;) Thanks for picking up my mistakes… there were still a lot of them :$

For Kelly, Ruby and Lisette : Thanks for being my friend. I have no idea how you guys survive it, but you seem to do fine ;)

For Jimmy : Thanks for giving me so much inspiration and for the support xD Loads of negative support, of course, but it's still support, I guess ;)  
Thanks for being a part of this story :P

For everyone out there who likes my stories : I hope you guys like this just as much as you like the other stories.  
Enjoy!

**(Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts. You won't have to play the game to understand this story, but it's nice if I don't have to explain everything ;) )  
**_-AU {Roxiri}- _

Rated T  
**Romance**

_**Just **_**Like**__A___**Drug**_

_**CHAPTER FOUR:  
Nightmares and Freaks  
_**_

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I took it out.  
"Hello?" I whispered. I was supposed to sleep already… so why the hell was Sora calling me?  
_"Hey Roxas, Sora here!"  
_"Um… hi. What's the matter?"  
_"Nothing really_" He seemed to hesitate. _"Or at least nothing important. I was just wondering if you thought a little about Kairi"  
_Great. I had managed to keep her out of my mind for a few seconds, and there she was again.  
"I did. A lot, actually"  
_"And?"  
_"I think I'll just… pass this time"  
I held the phone a few inches from my ear, to prevent my ear from going deaf.  
_"WHAT? ARE YOU KIDDING? SHE'S THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU SO FAR! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS ON GIVING UP ON HER!"  
_"Sora, don't shout, my parents think I'm sleeping!" I whispered furiously in the phone.  
_"Oh, sorry. But still! Roxas, did you lost your mind?"  
_"No. Or yes. I don't know. Sora…" I took a deep breath before chocking everything out that happened to me when I came home. "Sora, all I thought about this whole afternoon was her! I can't sleep because of her! My parents think I came back, I hear every word she said over and over in my head… Sora… I can't even think clearly! What do I do?" My voice broke at the end.  
_"Aww… man, I don't know… I don't think I can help you with this one. But hey, I'm sure we can survive this together!"  
_And that was why I was friends with Sora. It was always the two of us. Together.  
"Thanks, Sora… "  
_"Don't thank me, we've still a lot of things to do, remember?"  
_"Um… what kind of things?" I murmured nervously. Oh dear… what surprises did Sora hide from me?  
_"Well, what did you think about Olette, that cheerleader. She's going to kill me someday." _I could hear him shiver. _" Naminé and Riku, they're so freaking disgusting… Let's hope Naminé and Riku will disappear into thin air, and you know, Axel"  
_"What's wrong with Axel?" My voice was unconscious defensive. I liked the skater. And he was the brother of Kairi. Damn. There she was again.  
_"So you like him too?"  
_"Oh, I thought _you_ don't like him"  
_"I do, I think he's very nice"  
_And he was. The skater.  
"Do you know if he's a skater?" Just curious…  
Sora sounded a bit frustrated. "_No. When you ran off, the bell rang and I never got a chance to ask him about it" _So Sora thought he could be a skater too?_  
_I laughed softly. "I think he's something good, if he can hide things from you"  
Sora growled. _"Ah, well… better go. You'll need your sleep… tomorrow we'll see how things go, okay?"  
_"Got it. See you tomorrow!"  
_"Bye! Keep your mind clean, bro! Cheers!"  
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.  
_I hang up and put the phone on my desk.  
'Keep your mind clean'? My mind _was _clean. There was one thing in it. One person. But I guess Sora didn't mean that.  
Sleep. I needed my sleep. Would I get it today?  
Nah. Definitely not.

_It's just a dream, just the same nightmare! But I didn't need the words to calm me. I was calm while I walked through my old nightmare. I knew every detail here and I knew exactly what was going to happen since I stumbled through the same streets in my nightmares since Naminé left. Then why was she here as well? Because she wanted me to beg her to stay. Duh.  
She was standing in front of me, looking at me.  
"Say it!"  
What did she want me to say? There was nothing left to say. Usually, I would beg her to stay with me. She always laughed at it. And left me in the emptiness. But I didn't feel the urge to beg. I _wanted _that she left.  
So I wasn't going to beg her to stay with me if all I ever did was running from her.  
I straightened myself. "What do you want me to say?"  
Her eyes sparkled angry. "If you don't say it, I'll leave"  
"You'll just leaving me, whatever I say"  
Her eyes narrowed. Then she began to walk around me, in circles. Now _that _was new.  
I became nervous. What would happen? I could predict what was going to happen if I said the same things as usual. Today was the first time I did something else.  
"So you _want _me to leave?"  
I shrugged casually. Or tried to make it casual. "If that's what you want" No. It was what I wanted. And she too. Or she would miss some date with the silver-haired jackass. I wanted to roll my eyes at that.  
She snorted. "Fine, I'll go"  
And she left. I sighed with relief. The nightmare was over.  
Then why didn't I wake up?  
"Roxas…"  
That voice shocked me. I turned and stared right in the most gorgeous eyes ever. Kairi.  
What did she do in my dream? There wasn't much to do here, so why was she here?  
But there was something wrong. She was crying. Her deep, blue eyes were watering and the tears streamed down on her cheeks.  
I guessed I was so shocked that I stepped back. She immediately grabbed my arm and tried to hold me with her. "Don't go! Please!"  
I stared at her. Wait a second. That were _my _lines! I gently took her hand off of my arm and took another step back. She would never want me to stay. Reality. Period.  
"No!" She fell to her knees before me. "Roxas, please, don't leave me, don't go! I can change! I can change! Please don't go!" This was freaking me out! My lines from her lips. This was in one word terrifying…  
"Kairi… I don't understand" I said confused.  
"Roxas… please, please don't leave me alone, I can't… I can't go on without you, please stay with me! Please, I promise I'll change, I'll be the one you want, please don't go!"  
This scared me. _She _begging_ me _not to go_. _I should be begging_ her _not to go.  
She suddendly got up, fierce and strong. I staggered back and hurt came in her eyes.  
Kairi walked towards me and took my face in her hands. I couldn't stop staring at her. I didn't remember doing this to Naminé in my dreams… maybe this wasn't a dream. Maybe this wasn't my dream anymore… Perhaps I was too obsessed by Kairi.  
And then she placed her lips onto mine  
Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! She's kissing me!  
But it felt too real to be a dream. That meant I was awake.  
Before she let go, she whispered the words Naminé said to me before she left, but it hurt me more than it hurt when Naminé said them. "I don't want to hurt you, so I'll go right now. Bye Roxas" She stepped back and turned on her heels before walking off.  
"NOOOOOOOOO!"  
She couldn't be leaving me, she couldn't! I was lost in that emptiness again. Without sunlight, without anything good. And I was the one begging again…  
But this was different than when Naminé left me. This was worse!  
The empty darkness swallowed me…_

"Gah!"  
I shot up in bed, panting and sweating. I took a deep breath and screamed to get rid of the swallowing feeling. "!"  
My parents were used to the screaming. There wasn't a lot they could do about it either.  
I looked at my clock. And froze with shock. I was early.  
But I was never early. Never!  
Only when Naminé was my girlfriend.  
I rubbed at my forehead. I was merciless in love with that girl, I had to admit that.  
But boy, what did she do to deserve a broken shell?  
She was way better.  
She deserved way better.  
I jumped out of bed before I could think more.  
When I was done with clothing myself, I stared in the mirror.  
I looked terrible. I had bags under my eyes and I was just as pale as Dracula.  
A sigh escaped my lips when I realized I was awake. I wasn't going to have nightmares in daylight.  
That was so great about that clock of my mother. It burned its light through the depths of my nightmares. But I was too early today.  
So I woke up before the calming light could bring its effect into my dreams. Damn.

"Roxas, are you all right? You're incredibly pale…" My mother said while placing the bread on the table. I grimaced at it and my mother sighed while planting the cornflakes in front of my nose.  
"Thanks" I murmured before trying to formulate an answer and eating at the same time.  
"Nightmare" I explained.  
My mother's face fell. "Again? And we thought it was going better since yesterday"  
I rubbed in my eye. "Well, changing things take a lot of time"  
She nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right"  
No, but if it made her feel better, it was. I didn't think I could get rid of the nightmares. Better make the best of it and enjoy the good parts. What was good of them? Nothing. Not a single thing. Or you would count that kiss too, if you're a perv. I was not… but I still… enjoyed that kiss? That sounded bad. It _was_ bad! Sheesh, get a grip, man! I shouldn't be thinking about my nightmares… tonight it would happen again, so then I could think about it again.  
But that kiss had felt so real… and when she left… it felt too real… as well…  
I shove my food aside. "I'm going to school" Make a run from the nightmares, Roxas, before they will run past you.  
Before she could stop me and shove the food in my throat, like my father obviously ordered her to do, I ran to the door, took my backpack and my jacket and waved at my stunned mother before closing the door.

"Okay, now there is something wrong with you!" Sora told me with a shocked face.  
"What?" Where the heck was he talking about?  
"You're always late! You're way too early now!"  
I sighed. Great. Another one who discovered I was going mad.  
We were in the aula and we were waiting for… well, the bell.  
Suddendly a tall redhead made its way to our table. I recognized the friendly skater Axel and I saw that Sora saw him too. "Hey Axel!"  
Axel shoved a chair to our table and sat with us. "Hey guys, what's up?"  
Sora shrugged. "Nothing much. Like always"  
Axel looked at me. "God, Roxas, you look like crap"  
I chuckled. Thanks for the compliment. "I had a bad night… nightmare"  
Like always.  
Axel eyed me curiously. "You say it like it's normal"  
"It is" I told him gently, without being hard or anything. It wasn't his fault I had bad dreams. And I would rather suffer a worse death than blaming Kairi. She couldn't help it too.  
He sighed. "Well, I kind of know how it's like to wake up to someone who's having nightmares all the time… Not a nice alarm clock, I can tell you. Having your sister waking up screaming… Anyhow, I feel sorry for you that you've got nightmares…"  
I blinked twice. So Kairi had nightmares too? Where was _she_ dreaming about?  
Suddendly Axel turned and waved. "Hey, Kai! Over here!"  
There she was again, the center of my world. Kairi.  
She looked just as tired as me. She had also big, purple shadows under her eyes and she was extremely pale. Two vampires and two sufferers of bad dreams… what a great couple…  
Hey! Stop being sarcastic! It isn't her fault you're obsessed by her!  
"Hey guys" Kairi whispered. She was hoarse and it sounded she was about to lose her voice.  
I figured I was on the edge of losing my mind. Another good pairing. I would speak for her, she would think for me. Okay, this was freaking me out too! Stop thinking about that!  
Sora whistled. "Ouch, you didn't have a lot of sleep last night!"  
She grimaced. "You could say so"  
She took a seat beside me, sending hot shivers through my spine because she took the seat beside me, not beside anyone else.  
Axel stared at me. For already five minutes. I felt the urge to jump up and yell: "What the fuck is that?" while pointing at the window in a… humorless attempt to get him staring at something else.  
I cocked my head to the left and stared back. "What?"  
He shook his head. "Nothing. It's just that I hope you're not going to be the same as-"  
Kairi kicked him. "Shut up" She told him, her eyes dark again.  
I was only more curious now. Sora too. And if someone can't stand being curious, that one would be my best friend.  
"As who?"  
Axel gave Kairi a dark look. "He's not going to find you here anyway"  
Kairi shot him an angry look back. "I'm not going to fight him if he finds out you talked about him"  
They kept staring at each other with angry, intense eyes and suddendly Kairi sighed.  
"Fine. But if he's going to find us, I don't have anything to do with it, okay?"  
He nodded sarcastically. "Sure. And why did we move? So he wouldn't find us. So what's the point with being scared here?"  
Kairi looked down. Axel looked at us. "Sorry about that" Kairi frowned unhappy. She wasn't sorry if it meant Axel would shut up.  
I shook my head. "It's fine. Everyone has their own secrets, right?" My personal try to keep Axel from talking. It helped a bit, because Kairi's eyes shot up, straight in mine and then to Axel. Then back to mine.  
And they didn't leave mine. Another hot shiver ran through my body.  
Axel nodded. "Yeah. But it's not a… secret. It's… well… yeah. A… kind of secret…"  
Sora was really interested now and he leaned closer to Axel. "You want to tell us?"  
Kairi shook her head and looked down, angry again. But Axel ignored her. "We moved away to avoid the ex of Kairi"  
Kairi's frown became deeper. Her eyes were nearly black now.  
"What was wrong with him?" Sora asked.  
Axel opened his mouth, but Kairi replied, still looking down.  
"He became a stalker and I wasn't his only girlfriend… to keep a long story short"  
And I thought I had problems. Guess I needed to get real. Which was exactly what I had to do.  
Sora's jaw dropped. "Sheesh… what happened?"  
Axel and Kairi were looking at each other before Axel answered. "He wore a girl around his every finger."  
And I suddendly realized what must have happened. Every time Kairi wanted to walk away, he would pull her back by using her love for him. That meant he took profit of every weakness she showed.  
Sora didn't realize all of this. "Yeah?"  
But I shook my head. "No wonder you wanted to escape from that…"  
Sora frowned, in an attempt to understand where this was leading. He missed the… uh… clear moment I had.  
Axel looked at me. "I wanted to know if you would've been the same if you knew you had my sister around your finger"  
I stared at him in total shock. Then I said the first thing what raised in my mind. "Are you completely out of your mind?" I said it too loud, too shocked… people started to look… shit.  
Axel cocked his head to the side, smiling and Kairi's eyes shot up to mine. Sora stared at me, curiosity burning in his eyes.  
I shook my head violently. "Never! I would never be that way! I stay with one girl, forever… and if she wants to go, she's free to go. I wouldn't even try for her if she doesn't want me at first sight"  
And here I was again, with that big mouth of me. I blushed and sunk back in my chair.  
Kairi stared curiously at me and Axel stared curiously at me as well. Sora tried to keep his laughter inside him. Good. Or I would have to shut his mouth personally.  
"Do I even _look _like a player?" I asked, still with a red head, in an attempt to distract them. It worked.  
Axel laughed. "You could be with a leather jacket"  
Which laid in my locker. Great.  
Sora laughed. "He has a leather jacket… he's very proud of it"  
"I had to pay for it by myself" I muttered embarrassed. "So I don't want to hear one bad word about that leather jacket"  
They laughed. Even Kairi smiled. And that was everything I really wanted. To make her smile and forget about all those bad things for a while.  
If that was possible.  
Just like I could smile but think about Naminé at the same time.  
I think those things would hunt her for the rest of her life. And there was nothing I could do against it.


	5. Opening Up

**Rox**_iri_

_{She drew the words from my lips}  
-Wherever you go… I'll be always with you (too)-_

For Ruben : Thanks for reading this story, however I'm sure you don't like a thing about it ;) Thanks for picking up my mistakes… there were still a lot of them :$

For Kelly, Ruby and Lisette : Thanks for being my friend. I have no idea how you guys survive it, but you seem to do fine ;)

For Jimmy : Thanks for giving me so much inspiration and for the support xD Loads of negative support, of course, but it's still support, I guess ;)  
Thanks for being a part of this story :P

For everyone out there who likes my stories : I hope you guys like this just as much as you like the other stories.  
Enjoy!

**(Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts. You won't have to play the game to understand this story, but it's nice if I don't have to explain everything ;) )  
**_-AU {Roxiri}- _

Rated T  
**Romance**

_**Just **_**Like**__A___**Drug**_

_**CHAPTER FIVE:  
Opening Up  
_**_

The day went off in a rush. Naminé left us alone in the break, so I could sit with Sora and Axel and Kairi without running off.  
But when we had a free period, Sora decided to show Axel around. I didn't feel the need to embarrass myself in front of the whole school, so I decided to stay on the roof. That place was from Sora and me. Well, we just were the only ones who know about it. Like the clock tower. We were the only ones who knew you could sit there too.  
"So, Axel, you in?" Sora asked Axel when our free period started.  
He nodded. "Yeah!"  
"Kairi, you in?" I stuck my hands in my pockets, while preparing to hear her say she would be off with them too. Maybe I could stick with her and come too…  
Kairi hesitated. "No, sorry"  
I looked up, surprised. I thought Kairi would want to see some girls, just to feel a bit more comfortable around. I thought all girls were like the other. Once, I thought Naminé was special, that she was unique in her kind. But after all, she was just the same.  
But Kairi kept surprising me. And I was falling over and over for her.  
Axel glanced at her. "You sure you're gonna be alright?"  
Kairi sighed. "Really, I thought I had proved myself being strong enough to keep myself alive in weird situations, so don't you think I can survive school for one period?"  
Axel rolled with his eyes. "You know I don't mean it that way"  
Kairi stood on her tiptoes and gave him a small kiss on his cheek. "Thanks for being my stupid, silly, worried big twin brother"  
Axel ruffled Kairi's hair. "Thanks for being my stupid, naïve, sweet, little twin sister"  
They laughed and after a few goodbyes Axel and Sora walked away.  
Wait a sec.  
Wait a sec!

_**OH HOLY SHIT! I'M ALONE WITH KAIRI!**_

Panic made me freeze. I just stood there for a few seconds, staring at her and watched her every move.  
She looked down and when I finally 'came back to life', she looked up at me.  
"You… you mind if I stay with you?" She seemed hesitant. I blinked twice. She asked me if I minded if she stayed with me? Hell no! I would do anything to keep her with me. Would I even… kiss her… to keep her with me?  
Gah! That dream was freaking me out! Now I was even looking for it to come true! Just answer her!  
"N-no, not at all"  
Her lips formed a gentle smile and my heart stopped beating for a second.  
She waited until I would say something, but I lost my vocabulary. I couldn't find any words to describe how I felt. Or to say anything… at all.  
"Well… I-I was planning to go to the r-roof" I told her, stuttering a bit. I was proud of myself. I was getting better.  
She cocked her head to the side. "All right…?"  
Me being encouraged by the fact she didn't laugh at me, I smiled back at her and pointed to the direction with my head. "This way"  
We walked silently to the roof. She didn't say a thing, just followed me. I led the way, silently. I enjoyed being with her, I'd to admit. But who was I fooling? I was the only one who wasn't sure about myself. I sighed with content when we came on the roof. It was almost the same beauty as on the clock tower. This was only a few meters lower. I sat down and Kairi sat down beside me. We both looked down to the students beneath us.  
"It's pretty high up here, don't you think?" Kairi said to me. My thoughts from her lips. It really freaked me out... stupid nightmares…  
I guess she was trying to bring up a conversation. Nice try, but I'm usually not that… social?  
Ugh. That sounded worse. Like I was some kind of creep. To be honest, I _was _a creep.  
"Yeah, it is. But still, the clock tower is much higher than up here" I replied.  
I was shocked. I just babbled a whole sentence _without _stuttering!  
She looked curious. "You mean that one?" She pointed at the top of the clock tower which stood at the other end of the town.  
I nodded. "Yeah, that one. You've never been there before?"  
She shook her head. "I've just arrived, remember?"  
"I'll take you there once, okay?"  
I smiled at her and earned a heartbreaking smile back. She was too amazing to be true.  
And that sounded cliché. But it was definitely true.

"Roxas?"  
Her voice sounded hesitating, as if she was asking me something really difficult.  
"Yeah?"  
"Will you please look at me?"  
What was that? Or, better question, where the heck did that come from?  
I looked at her anyway. She had a torn expression on her face and she stared at me for a long time before expelling a shaky breath.  
"Oh Christ… why do you look so much like him?"  
I didn't need more words. I knew exactly where she was talking about. I realized she could never like me anymore… because I looked so much like the one who had messed up her life. I would've felt the same way if she looked so much like Naminé.  
But I was dumb enough to ask. "I remind you of your ex-boyfriend?"  
It would've been… I don't know… charming that I satisfied the requirements. If her ex wouldn't have been a stalker plus a player. If her ex wouldn't be someone who was horrible to her.  
She nodded before looking straight forward. "You do"  
I was impressed by the effect of those two words. They hurt me more than Naminé ever did.  
"I'm sorry"  
Kairi's eyes shot back to mine again and smiled a bit. "Don't be. It's not your fault"  
I looked back to the students under me again. "What was his name?"  
Kairi's eyes burned on me, I knew exactly what she was looking at. My eyes. The same as his…  
"What's the reason of giving his name? It's not like you know him, right?"  
I shook my head. "But it'll make a difference," I started. I looked her in her eyes now. "between me and him. Roxas and…?"  
"Ventus" She said, her eyes still focussed on mine.  
Like she said, for me it didn't change a thing. It was the same Kairi, but maybe for her, it would make a difference. I hoped so. I didn't want to remind her off all the bad stuff she went through.  
I was running away from Naminé every time she confronted me with my past, but if I looked so much like the past Kairi was running from… how could she ever like me?  
Impossible.  
I had to give up on her.

We sat there twenty minutes in complete silence. Our hands touched slightly. Her hand was cold, mine was warm. And I hoped it could keep her warm for the rest of her life.  
If she would let me. If she wouldn't hate me.  
"Kairi?"  
"Hm?"  
"What are you thinking about?" I couldn't stop worrying about her.  
She suddendly laughed, a soft tinkling laughter in my ears and it rang through my mind.  
"What?" I asked her, curiosity burning in my voice.  
"Yesterday night, my brother, well, Axel asked me the same thing, with the same tone as you" She looked up at me, with bright, dark blue eyes. I lost myself in them. I found my escape in those eyes. I wanted to be with them forever.  
Then why, for the love of God, then why did I remind her of something bad?  
"But, what are you thinking about?" I pressed. I was here to find out some details of her mysterious mind, I said to myself in the hope I wasn't going to hope for more. Weird sentence… better forget it at this very moment.  
"You. And Ventus" She said, while looking down to the students beneath us again.  
"Oh. What about u-?" I had nearly said 'us'. If I wanted to stay with her, that would be the biggest mistake in my life. "Um, him and me?"  
Kairi heard the quick improvement and her eyes narrowed slightly.  
"I was thinking about your similarity with him"  
"Oh" Sheesh, Roxas, man, what a brilliant reply! But when she looked up to meet my eyes, hers had gained an intense, burning heat in them.  
"And the differences" She breathed.  
I felt the urge to lean in and kiss her right now.  
Better keep those thoughts from your mind, you obsessed freak.  
Or you'll pay for it later.

After that day, she never opened up like then again. Or, she never talked again about Ventus, the one who looked so much like me. But every time Sora and Axel went checking the city and Sora's other friends, Kairi and I met up on the roof. We just sat there, talking about school and other stuff. We kept each other company and we enjoyed being together. Or better said: _I _enjoyed being together. Kairi was just as unreadable as I seemed to be for some people. The only one who knew me was Sora and the only one who knew Kairi was Axel. But that bothered me, to my surprise. I wanted to know more about Kairi than I should. Than I could. Kairi never gave too much again after that day. I wondered if she was observing me, to check what I was going to do with that information, or something in that direction. Well, I wouldn't talk about it. Maybe she would trust me… once.  
Axel and Kairi never talked about their past again, and Sora seemed to be fine with it for once. That scared me. That meant Sora knew more than me. And I hated that idea.  
That meant Axel talked to Sora about it when they were off. But I wouldn't go with them, even _if _Axel talked about their past. I wouldn't trade our little time together. Wait. The time Kairi and I were together. Maybe that's better since I'm hundred percent sure she doesn't like me. Well, not in the 'like-love' way. I mean, we _were _friends after all, so she must like me, although it is a little bit.  
My nightmares didn't go away. They only faded a bit when I spent the whole day _close _to Kairi.  
But they never really left, to my abomination. They were all the same as the first one with Kairi in it.  
My mother saw the subtle change in the way I acted and freaked out of joy. But my father only worried more. He was afraid this was the… silence before the storm. The better part before the breakdown.  
And that was what I was afraid of too…


	6. Talk In The Night

**Rox**_iri_

_{She drew the words from my lips}  
-Wherever you go… I'll be always with you (too)-_

For Ruben : Thanks for reading this story, however I'm sure you don't like a thing about it ;) Thanks for picking up my mistakes… there were still a lot of them :$

For Kelly, Ruby and Lisette : Thanks for being my friend. I have no idea how you guys survive it, but you seem to do fine ;)

For Jimmy : Thanks for giving me so much inspiration and for the support xD Loads of negative support, of course, but it's still support, I guess ;)  
Thanks for being a part of this story :P

For everyone out there who likes my stories : I hope you guys like this just as much as you like the other stories.  
Enjoy!

**(Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts. You won't have to play the game to understand this story, but it's nice if I don't have to explain everything ;) )  
**_-AU {Roxiri}- _

Rated T  
**Romance**

_**Just **_**Like**A_**Drug**_

_**CHAPTER SIX:  
Talk in the Night  
_**_

_Where was I? Oh, right, in those damn streets I always walked at night.  
I was panicking again, because the last times, Kairi had been crying and she had been begging me and kissing me and-  
Stop it! It's worse enough you're back here again!  
Naminé appeared, of course.  
"Say it"  
I was getting annoyed by her. "I've got better things to do than to listen to you"  
See how you take that, bitch. I've been thinking about this way too much. Time to _do _something instead of just thinking.  
She snorted and turned on her heels. "Fine. I'll see how it is"  
And with that, she walked off. Finally.  
But now the time had come to turn… and to find what I wanted to see… but not the way I had last times.  
Still… I hadn't seen _her _for a couple of hours and the burning ache in my chest said I wanted to see her… _very _soon.  
That's why I turned and was standing eye to eye with my favorite redhead. But this time she was different. Oh dear… what now?  
"Hello Kairi" I said quietly. She smiled at me. I smiled back at her, hesitant.  
"Hi Roxas…"  
She was just as beautiful as she was in real life…  
As if someone threw it in my face, I realized I craved her… needed her…  
This was getting weird…  
She sighed and looked down. "You don't deserve any of this"  
"I can say the same about you" I told her, while taking her hand and squeezing it lightly. I was surprised by my spontaneous actions. I was never that way. Not in real life… if I was dreaming. She was so damn beautiful that it was hard to believe I was dreaming. Or maybe I was dreaming all the time. Ugh. Was I awake or not? And, if I wasn't… was this a nightmare? I couldn't say so… yet.  
Kairi looked up again and smiled again. "But still… I feel bad of doing this… interrupting your dreams with my presence"  
"What do you mean?" She would never interrupt me, never!  
She shrugged. "Oh, nothing special"  
I frowned confused. "Uh… am I awake?"  
She chuckled. "Maybe… it's up to you… you can decide"  
"What if I don't want to decide?" I told her, being a bit… stupid. But I wanted _her _to say this was real.  
Kairi simply smiled and shook her head. "I would want this to be real"  
I cocked my head to the side, not knowing where the heck she was talking about. "Then this is real" I told her with a certain voice.  
Kairi and I stood there for a while, just looking at each other, considering options of what to do next.  
Suddendly she sighed and looked a bit torn. But then she seemed to take a decision.  
She stood on her tiptoes, leaned forward and planted a kiss on my cheek.  
"Bye Roxas"  
She couldn't go yet! I was finally having a dream where her and me could together without complications. Finally a dream not ending in a nightmare. Not ending in screaming.  
"No! Kairi, please!"  
And here I was again, losing somebody I loved and begging her to stay.  
She looked at me, curious.  
"Kairi, for the love of all that's holy, don't go! Please stay!" It felt like my heart was breaking in a million pieces. Again. But worse.  
"You make it seem you said all of this before…"  
I fell to my knees, couldn't bear the pain of the thought about her leaving me. "Please…"  
She cocked her head to the side. "What would you do to make me stay?"  
I jumped up, my eyes flaming. I knew what to do. I knew it exactly. She had done it before to me, and I had stayed. And I knew why it was stupid as well. So I tried something else before I would go on to the… pleading kiss.  
"Everything" I said, certainty burning in my voice and the truth of the word flaming in my chest. That one word described the weird passion I felt for my redhead.  
Kairi grimaced and staggered three steps away.  
And I lost my mind completely.  
I pulled her toward me, cupped her face in my hands and kissed her.  
But as soon as I pressed my lips onto hers, she began to fade away.  
Soon she was gone and I was alone, falling onto my knees and sobbing like a freak. I clutched my head in my hands and took a deep breath before screaming my lungs out._

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"  
I was absolutely going mad right now. I felt the pain crashing down on me.  
Heavy. Heavier. Heaviest.  
"!"  
It crushed me. Harder, harder. I was getting killed by my own heart.  
"!"  
My voice turned five octaves higher when the pain washed over me in a new wave of incredible pain.  
"!"  
But then I could open my eyes and I knew the nightmare was over… for today.  
"Kairi…" My voice was hoarse of all the screaming I did.  
I sat up in bed and I dropped my face in my hands. _You make it seem you said all of this _before. Hell yeah. That was all I ever did. Begging, hoping, loving. And all I got back was pain, loss, hurt. Oh, and screaming.  
"Roxas!" A voice hissed from outside. A voice which told me _she_ was leaving just a few moments ago. I balled my hands into fists. I was hallucinating. There was no way Kairi could be at my house now and stand outside my window and-  
"ROXAS!" The hiss became louder. I looked up and stared straight into Kairi's gorgeous eyes.  
"Gah!" I fell out of bed and quickly got up before opening the window. "Kairi! What the hell are you doing here?"  
She looked up at me. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be here… but I… I wanted to-"  
"Get in before you get a cold!" I whispered at her. She jumped inside and I closed the window.  
"Kairi, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at home?" I asked her, worried. Did she had a fight with Axel? Didn't seem likely to me. They were one, or, that was how it seemed to me.  
"Axel said you had nightmares too"  
I nodded, frowning. Why would that be the reason why she was here? "That's right" So Axel told? What was the reason behind _that_? He knew nothing about me, after all…  
"Did you have one a few moments ago?"  
I nodded again as I watched her sit on my chair. I sat down on my bed. What should I say more? Or, how could she see? Well… I had screamed. A lot. Wouldn't be hard to figure out.  
She sighed as she leant down to rest her arms on her knees. "God. It's pathetic from me to ask, and I don't expect you to say 'yes', but can I please… stay at your house this night?"  
I blinked twice and stared at her.  
She twiddled nervously with her fingers. "I mean… I don't want to have nightmares… and since you know how it feels to… " She quickly cut herself off. "Well, maybe it's like 'two broken souls keeping each other warm' effect?"  
I slightly smiled. I had heard that before… in a book. Before I knew how it was when your soul was broken. "Well, it's all right with me, but you've to leave before my parents wake up. They wouldn't be very happy about having you in the same room as me"  
She nodded enthusiastically. "Of course!" Why was she so… enthusiastically? It would only break my heart more when she was gone. The pain raised up and I quickly shove that idea aside.  
Before she stood up she looked up at me. "Oh… and Axel doesn't have to know where I was this night, okay?"  
I smiled at her and nodded. "Right" If Axel didn't know, Sora wouldn't know either… that was more than fine with me. Sora would be so worried, but he didn't have to… I was a big boy, I could take care of myself… I hoped. And… it sounded stupidly, but we would share a secret… Pathetic, ain't it?  
She stood up and made her way to my bed. Suddendly she stopped and looked at me intensely.  
I cocked my head to the side and wondered what she was thinking about. Or what she was seeing in my face. Probably an ugly, sarcastic, brokenhearted freak. Great.  
"You're not like him" She said slowly.  
Huh? Where was she talking-? Oh, right. About Ventus. About the guy she had once talked about. That seemed very long ago. Maybe months ago. Maybe years ago. Maybe centuries ago since she talked about that guy for the last time. And the first time.

We sat there, next to each other in my bed. In silence. In heartbreaking silence. I wanted to talk, but I couldn't find any words to tell her.  
Just that I liked it so much when she was around.  
"Roxas? Do you… do you remember when I told you about… _him_? Ventus?"  
I felt my whole body tense. "I do" Don't look at her, don't look at her, don't look at her. Just stay calm.  
"And remember when you said you wanted me to say his name?" Why act like I was calm? I _was_ calm.  
"To make a difference between him and me? Yes, I do" I said calmly. Calmness was the only thing she would need. I would give her calmness. I would give her anything without hesitation. Even my life… my heart… my whole being. Even if she was going to break everything she had build up.  
She looked at me and I looked back, finding everything I wanted, needed, there in her eyes. Again. "That was the first time I spoke his name since we, I mean Axel and me, moved away from him"  
I had to apologize. For looking like that bastard that screwed up my only chance to be with her. To _live _again. I had to apologize for looking like the guy who screwed up her life. And that was the worst thing of all.  
"I'm really sorry for looking so much like him…" I said gently, looking down. Ashamed. "I don't want to remind you of things you want to forget"  
She shook her head. "Oh, but you don't remind me of him anymore. You even…" She stopped for a moment and her hand reached out to wipe a strand of my hair from my forehead, making the shivers through my spine hotter than ever before. "don't look like him anymore" She finished with an absent voice.  
I frowned confused. I had no idea where this change had come from. But I wasn't sure if I wanted to know or not.  
"But… I wonder… can I tell you something?" She asked, hesitating.  
"Anything" I said gently. Even if I didn't want to know it, I would listen to her. Just because she needed to have things off her chest. Maybe that little bit of relief would be enough to get her nightmares away. If it was possible, I would want the same.  
She took a deep breath and curled up a bit. "Maybe you don't want to hear it, but-"  
"I don't mind"  
Kairi looked at me and smiled. Her eyes had that same intensive, burning heat in them as on that day. That day when she had told me I looked like her ex-boyfriend. Who was a stalker. And a player. And a pathetic loser who looked… like me.  
But she looked away again, to the window. Her eyes unfocussed as she started.  
"When I met Ventus, I was just a small girl. However he was at the same age as me, I was always impressed by him. It didn't took long before I fell in love with him. Seems ordinary and maybe a bit odd, but I liked his eyes the most. They couldn't lie. Well, they could, but they always seemed so… genuinely… that I always believed him.  
But, when he returned my love, I… realized I knew so little about him… and that he knew everything about me. Being the naïve little girl I was, I thought some… research couldn't hurt.  
But hell it did…"  
She shook her head and chuckled. "That was when I found out he was part of a group friends who liked it to have as much girlfriends as possible. Some sort of gang. Well… I kind of freaked out… who wouldn't after discovering her boyfriend, or girlfriend, was part of a gang? Then I told myself it didn't matter. Even if he was part of it, he was still my boyfriend. Ventus would be different, I thought. That's why I stayed with him.  
I think he knew I knew all the time, but after a couple of months, he said he knew I knew he was a member of Organization XIII…" She looked at my confused expression. "That was the name of the gang. Anyway, he was nice at first for me. He always told me he wasn't like his friends. I was his only one, the only one for him. He said he hated the way his friends threatened girls"  
She chuckled. "Kind of hard to believe when he kisses someone else" She said sarcastically.  
"What did you do?" I would've stayed, if it was Naminé… or Kairi. Forever. I wouldn't say goodbye… I would forgive her every time she would do such a thing.  
"I stayed" Just like I would.  
I waited for her to continue.  
"But I didn't let it go away that easily. I confronted him with it and I saw his words were lies. However his eyes stood big and genuinely in his face. But the way he said things let me know he wasn't sorry at all. And that was when I started to avoid his eyes. I couldn't believe I stayed with him, but every time… his eyes… I was back again"  
Jojo. I played with those when I was younger. I was always fascinated by the way the little thing jerked away from my hand and always came back.  
But I would never toss Kairi away and then make her come back. Even if I knew how to do that.  
I mean, I was just your average boy, nothing special. I was even pathetic enough to admit I played with a jojo until Naminé showed up.  
"I was like a jojo… and then I interrupted his drea- err… Well, I found out his real intentions… That he was just a player, like all of his lame friends. I broke up with him immediately and told Axel all about it. Axel wanted to pay him a visit, but I held him back"  
Her eyes were somewhere else than in my bedroom at three in the night. What did her little slip mean?  
"I thought I got rid of him… but he kept… stalking me. Following me. Calling me in night to hang up as soon as I picked the phone up… creepy… So Axel said: 'We're leaving. Now'… and that's what we did"  
And we fell back in silence. I had no words for the end of her story. Now I was sure of it. Kairi hid something in that story. But what could it be? I wanted to think about that, but my mind was only focussed on her breathing, making sure she was real.  
In my dream, she had faded. Would she do that when I touched her now too?  
Kairi suddendly let out a sharp breath. "You know now… why I… why I hated you at first… but not… fully"  
"What do you mean?" I had to ask. I had no idea what she meant. Or what she could mean. See, I was obviously stupid. And dumb. And in love with her.  
"When I first saw you… standing in front of class… I thought you were Ventus. And I nearly ran away. But then you blushed. Ventus never blushed. He was always arrogant, cocky and certain about himself. And when you came to us, your eyes… I was scared. I thought Ventus had found me and fooled me by blushing. But then you nearly tripped, something what Ventus never did as well.  
You made me smile that day… I never smiled since I found out he was part of that gang. Never. But you… hurt me by looking so much like him, but at the same time… I wanted to be with you"  
I blushed. A red heat spread through my cheeks and warmed my face up. Oh dear God, why couldn't I control that heat? If I could, nobody would ever guess what I was thinking. But, yeah… maybe it was better this way.  
She smiled at me. "I like your blush" She touched my cheek with a finger. I blushed harder and she chuckled. "Well, anyway, at the roof… and in the past days by keeping your mouth shut about what I told you… you made the difference between you and him so clear that I… don't even think about Ventus when I see you. You're Roxas… for you that maybe sounds weird, but for me… it's… "  
She struggled for words. "I don't know… I can't find a way of describe it… only that it means so much for me"  
"But what kind of things made it clear… to _you _that I'm not… Ventus?" I had to know. It's kind of something what made it clear I wasn't a stupid, stalking player. Because I clearly wasn't. If I was, I wouldn't be mourning so much about Naminé and I wouldn't be sad about the fact Kairi didn't want me at all. But… I wouldn't change it. If I was like Ventus, Kairi wouldn't be my friend, sitting next to me. I shivered when the pain started to wash over me again.  
She chuckled softly. "The way you do things. You're way too uncertain to be Ventus, but you're way nicer too" Great. Even she could tell I was thinking too much. What a way to go, Roxas… what a way… But well, if she thought I was nicer than a stalker, that would be okay, right?  
I smiled at her. "I think anyone is nicer than him" Good, Roxas. Keep it light.  
She laughed gently. "Guess you're right"  
We fell in a silence, and I almost thought she was asleep.  
"Roxas?"  
"Hm?"  
"Thanks for letting me stay over tonight" Oh. I didn't even think about that when I said 'yes'. It came natural. The only thing I didn't have to think about.  
"You're welcome"  
She smiled and sighed while looking through the window again.  
And how much I tried to walk away, the more I fell in love with her.  
There was no returning back.  
I was already too deep into this.


	7. Newfound Ways

**Rox**_iri_

_{She drew the words from my lips}  
-Wherever you go… I'll be always with you (too)-_

For Ruben : Thanks for reading this story, however I'm sure you don't like a thing about it ;) Thanks for picking up my mistakes… there were still a lot of them :$

For Kelly, Ruby and Lisette : Thanks for being my friend. I have no idea how you guys survive it, but you seem to do fine ;)

For Jimmy : Thanks for giving me so much inspiration and for the support xD Loads of negative support, of course, but it's still support, I guess ;)  
Thanks for being a part of this story :P

For everyone out there who likes my stories : I hope you guys like this just as much as you like the other stories.  
Enjoy!

**(Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts. You won't have to play the game to understand this story, but it's nice if I don't have to explain everything ;) )  
**_-AU {Roxiri}- _

Rated T  
**Romance**

_**Just **_**Like**__A___**Drug**_

_**CHAPTER SEVEN:  
Newfound Ways  
_**_

The next morning, I woke up to two bright shining lights. One of them appeared to be the alarm clock of my mother, the other one laid beside me. Her hand laid on my chest and her eyes were closed, making the dark bags under her eyes darker. Her eyelashes made shadows on her cheeks, which were a soft pink. Her auburn hair fell aside of her face and her steady breathing left her slightly parted lips. It took me a moment to recover and to turn the alarm clock off. Would I let her sleep, or should I wake her up? But neither of them was going to happen, because of my movements, Kairi stirred. She was waking up herself.  
She looked up at me, looking a bit dazed. "What's wrong?" She murmured, while rubbing the sleep from her eyes with the back of her hand. There was something wrong indeed: school. It seemed so NOT important with her beside me. But I thought she would think completely different about that.  
"Time for school" I said, a smile made its way all up to my face. I was completely stunned by the fact this girl laid beside me. And that wasn't a good sign. That meant I would maybe have to jump off the clock tower in a few weeks.  
She blinked a few times and stared at the clock. "No wonder you're always late" She mumbled with a smile while getting out of my bed.  
"Roxas, get out bed or I'll kick you out your bed if you don't get up now!" My mother yelled upstairs. Ouch… someone was in a bad mood today… well, better listen to my mother if she's like this… or else… she'll throw you off the clock tower. I prefer jumping by myself.  
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" I shouted back, in the fond hope she heard it while I quickly jumped out of my bed.  
When I turned around, Kairi stood already in the window. I quickly came after her to close the window behind her, but Kairi held me back. She stared in my eyes and leaned a bit forward to plant a soft kiss on my cheek. "Thanks I could stay over" She whispered before jumping on the roof and waving at me.  
I let the window fall from my frozen fingers and stared at her while she jumped from the last roof in our street. She would be on school very soon now. The window clicked when it closed and I blinked, coming back to life.  
My hand raised to my cheek to touch the place she had kissed.  
"Wow…"

On school, Kairi was there already. If Axel looked at her, a worried expression flashed in his eyes, but Sora was trying to get Olette off his chest. It _was _an… awkward situation; Sora laying on the floor, Olette on his chest, trying to rip off his clothes, Axel staring in shock at them, but sometimes flashing that worried look to Kairi, Kairi raising her brow at Sora and the cheerleader on the floor.  
Kairi saw me and she smiled at me. Axel saw me too and grinned widely before coming my way.  
"Let's get the hell outta here! I'm going mad if I see that freaking cheerleader make out with Sora any longer" He said with a disgusted tone.  
"They're not making out" I whispered. "Sora's being raped"  
They laughed. "That's a better definition" Kairi told her brother. "Because that's definitely what's going on there" We looked over to my poor friend.  
It was like this was always been how it was now. Sora, Axel, Kairi and me. The four of us best friends.  
But of course it wasn't. They had just shown up and joined Sora and me.  
Although I had 'really' joined Sora when Naminé abandoned me and threw me aside for that Riku person.  
Well, good for her. You've got Riku, well, I've got the alarm clock of my mother, bitch.  
And that sounded pathetic. Like I always did, of course… or maybe not. Who knew?  
Maybe I was going to change. Be as brave as Kairi was… one day.  
If I found that courage.

"_Thanks _for saving me from that monster, guys" Sora told us when he _finally _joined us. He panted from the running he did and he leaned forward, hands on his knees, while catching his breath.  
"Sorry man, but I just couldn't watch that, so I dragged these guys here along" Axel retorted while pulling Kairi and me closer to him.  
Heat burned in my cheeks from embarrassment. I really started to doubt the existence of Axel's girlfriend. Kairi just laughed and shrugged Axel's hand off her.  
"Thanks Axe, just face the truth you'll never get a boyfriend and you were jealous of Sora"  
A grin appeared on my face. I felt the urge to tease Axel some more, because it was his fault that I was embarrassed. I was stunning myself. I never felt the spontaneous urge to… laugh with people.  
But I gave in. If they all had their eyes on Axel, no one would see me, right?  
"Too bad Axel… Sora is already taken" I was quick enough to avoid his fist, but not quick enough to avoid his arm. He pulled me close to me and rubbed over my hair with his fist. Hard. Ouch.  
"Aww, but in that case, _Roxy,_ will you go out with me?"  
I spluttered something between my laughter and tried to say something loud enough to get the sound over his arm. "Go out with Frankenstein, you idiot"  
Axel laughed. "But you're pretty, _Roxy_" He said in a childish tone, still teasing me. I _hoped _he teased me. I snorted and tried to get away once more.  
"Too bad, Axel, but Roxas is already taken as well" Sora laughed. Oh no… dear Lord, don't make him say the things I'm afraid he's going to say. Sora, please don't do it… don't…  
I looked up to shoot Sora a warning look. But I caught Kairi's instead. They were bright, no clouds of worry. Her whole face had soften and a slight smile lightened up her expression.  
I forgot to breathe and couldn't tear my eyes away.  
"Who's going out with my _Roxy-boo_?" Axel said in a quasi-angry tone. He just _didn't _call me like that!  
Sora nearly collapsed from laughter and Kairi's smile widened.  
But she looked down, so I could breathe and tear my eyes away to plan my escape. Which I needed desperately.  
"Axel, look: a new candidate! Someone's waving!" I pointed to the hall and Axel let go of me in shock while looking. I quickly got up from the floor he had let me fall onto and hid behind Sora. See the trick works? Just point to somewhere, say something like: 'What the fuck is that?' and you can escape!  
I had no idea this was the way how my days would go on.  
But I also had no idea that I had to pay in the night for the way Kairi looked at me a couple of minutes ago.


	8. The New Nightmare

**Rox**_iri_

_{She drew the words from my lips}  
-Wherever you go… I'll be always with you (too)-_

For Ruben : Thanks for reading this story, however I'm sure you don't like a thing about it ;) Thanks for picking up my mistakes… there were still a lot of them :$

For Kelly, Ruby and Lisette : Thanks for being my friend. I have no idea how you guys survive it, but you seem to do fine ;)

For Jimmy : Thanks for giving me so much inspiration and for the support xD Loads of negative support, of course, but it's still support, I guess ;)  
Thanks for being a part of this story :P

For everyone out there who likes my stories : I hope you guys like this just as much as you like the other stories.  
Enjoy!

**(Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts. You won't have to play the game to understand this story, but it's nice if I don't have to explain everything ;) )  
**_-AU {Roxiri}- _

Rated T  
**Romance**

_**Just **_**Like**__A___**Drug**_

_**CHAPTER EIGHT:  
The New Nightmare  
_**_

_My nightmare had changed, however I was still walking around in some nameless streets. Still, there was something different. What had changed lay beyond my reach, I couldn't see what it was… yet.  
Naminé appeared in front of me, so that was still the same. But when I looked behind her, I saw woods. Dark woods. I shivered when I realized my imagination had gotten a lot… darker… since the last time I was here… bad sign, bad sign… I took a deep breath and looked down at Naminé. Weird. I never knew I was taller than she was.  
Naminé wasn't saying anything, that was weird too. She was just looking. Well, she was nothing more than just an obstacle in my way, ready to move aside. Or, better said, _already _moved aside.  
_"_Naminé?_"_ My voice was cold. Icy. I didn't want her in my dreams. Or nightmares. Or real life.  
I was done with her and she was going to know that. She maybe already knew.  
"Roxas…" Her voice was different. I realized it wasn't Naminé's voice… but…Kairi's.  
I staggered back in shock. This was impossible! This was not happening! This was a dream! A dream! WAKE UP! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!  
Naminé looked up, with eyes which weren't hers. Kairi's. Begging.  
I gasped for air. Oh hell… I preferred my old nightmares! Why did they change?  
Tears started to form in her eyes and all I wanted was to comfort her… but I couldn't. The eyes… the voice… definitely Kairi's. But the body, the face, the hair… all Naminé. I wasn't going closer to Naminé. I wasn't going to touch her. If I gave in, I would give myself over to Naminé.  
I fell to my knees, clutched my head. There was no way of comforting Kairi if I was going to accept Naminé too!  
"I can't! I can't!"  
I could _hear _her cry. "Roxas… please…"  
My hands nearly started to yank my hair out in an attempt to hold me on my spot.  
"Kairi, I can't! I can't!"  
Kairi said nothing, Naminé said nothing, so I could take a couple of deep breaths to calm myself. Calmness was all Kairi and I both needed.  
And Naminé's voice broke through my hazy thoughts. "Is there anything you actually _can_?"  
Good. I was really angry now. If there was one thing you shouldn't do, was first hurting me and then question my abilities. I _do_ have pride, you know. I'm maybe an idiot, but I'm a male as well! And that pride made my stomach cringe and set my lungs on fire.  
I jumped up, and I knew my eyes were burning with hate.  
But I had never been violent before. Never. But now I was drowning in my own hatred for the blonde girl. I closed my eyes and let my hate take me over. This had to be done, I kept telling myself. And besides, this was a dream, was it? If I couldn't wake up yet, better do something about it.  
When I finally opened my eyes, I knew what the girl in front of me would see.  
Hate.  
Burning hate.  
Burning, roaring hate.  
Hate.  
In two seconds I had pulled her close at her collar. _"Leave. Her. Alone"_ My hissed words were cold as icy, fierce as the pain I had felt when she had imitated Kairi.  
Naminé's eyes remained the same. "No"  
I growled before pulling one fist backwards, ready to let go and let it punch in her face.  
"Roxas!" Naminé turned in Kairi the second I was about to let my fist shoot forward.  
I froze, but let her go immediately. I staggered back until I was at the wall, my back pressed up against it.  
"Kairi" I whispered in horror. "I'm so sorry…"  
Kairi's eyes were wide… -in shock?-, but then her expression changed. Her face softened, her eyes were clear and bright, a slight smile around her lips. The same expression she had on school.  
What was going on? I was hypnotized, dazed, stunned. I couldn't move, only stare.  
Then Kairi turned into Naminé again, but I could see Kairi now somewhere else… at the edge of the dark woods. I wanted to run to her, but Naminé held me back.  
In a forbidden way.  
She hugged me tightly, nearly cutting oxygen off from my lungs. My eyes widened in both disbelief and horror. Kairi turned her back at us.  
And the hate flew through me again. My behavior was inexcusable. I felt the urge to break Naminé down. Like she broke me mentally, I wanted to break her physically. I wanted to rip her tongue out, cut her in half, then rip every piece in four and then cook all the pieces in oil.  
Those feelings… were… changing me.  
"You get out of my way" My words were freezing my surroundings. Including myself.  
"She's not good for you. She's going to hurt you more than anyone else can in the world" She smiled like I was a four years old who said that two plus two is fifteen and who's actually quite sure about that.  
Wasn't _I _the one to decide that? She didn't even _know _Kairi! And had she forgotten what _she _did to me? Forgotten about what damage _she_ had done in my life?  
My fist shoot forward, straight in her face.  
The hate flamed up again and I wanted to do much worse things, but Kairi had turned again, eyeing me curiously. And just as Kairi had disappeared when I had kissed her, Naminé disappeared as soon as my fist made contact to her face.  
And that gave me all the space in the world to run to the girl I really wanted to see.  
"Kairi!" My voice was warm again. I was myself again. Free from the hatred toward the blonde girl.  
"Roxas… you have no idea" She looked sad. "You've no idea what I can do to you… what I am doing to you"  
I didn't care. I needed something off my chest first. It was time to say it out loud. And besides, it was just a dream, so it wouldn't change anything.  
"I love you"  
Kairi's eyes shot up to mine and she looked shocked. I must have done the same when I realized it… centuries ago.  
I looked back, finally certain about one thing in my life. My love for her.  
She swallowed and took a step back. I knew my eyes filled themselves with hurt. The same hurt flew through my chest, make me nearly choke.  
"Kairi, please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, don't go!"Begging. Every nightmare was the same. Begging.  
Kairi frowned, closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. "Roxas… I have to go…"  
"You can't be leaving me… you can't… " Every nightmare asked the same from me. Breaking my pride and beg. Begging. Begging. If they would give notes for it on school, I would definitely be the best one of the whole school.  
"Roxas…" But Kairi wasn't planning to stay. In real life, she would be off someday too. She wouldn't say 'yes' to me, but to some nameless, doomed guy. School, career… love, marriage. My heart broke. She would leave my life just as quickly as she came into it.  
I fell to my knees, ready to beg for dear life. "Kairi! Don't leave! I need you! I can't go on without you! Stay! I love you, I love you, I love you… Kairi"  
Kairi grimaced and she tried to walk away, but my hand caught hers.  
Sissy. Liar. Obsessive fool. Loser. Coward. Pathetic jackass. I was it all. I wasn't worth of the girl in front of me. And I still couldn't let her go, like I would have to.  
Kairi took a deep breath. "Roxas, let me go" Her voice was soft, gentle and… heartbreaking.  
Those four words were my biggest nightmare of all. I felt my eyes widen and my hand let go of her automatically.  
It felt like she was torturing me. Pulling me over a floor with knifes. Again and again. Over and over again.  
One thing was true in this mess:  
Those four words hurt me more than anything else in the world could._

"!"  
I screamed louder than I ever did in my life. There was no escape to the pain, no scream louder than the pain. The pain was breaking me, healing me to break me down again.  
"!"  
I grasped my pillow and pulled it over my head, to dim the sound of my screaming and to hopefully kill myself.  
"!"  
_Roxas, let me go  
_"!"  
_Roxas, let me go_  
"!"  
The pain tuned out all the sounds around me, leaving me alone in the dust. The dust was busy killing me. And there was one thing I could hear. Four words. Those four words were feeding the dust and I was ready to be finished off. This was a dream… flowing over in reality and going back to a dream…  
"!"  
But this _was_ real. I swam in my pain, lost myself there. I thought nothing could be worse than Naminé leaving. What a joke… this was _life_. I could never wake up from this pain. Never escape. And the worst… Kairi hadn't even left me in real life. Or was it real? Had she just left me?  
_Roxas, let me go_  
"STOP IT!"  
What _was_ real? Naminé was right about one thing. Kairi could hurt me more than anyone else in the world, even if it was in a dream.  
I began to choke in my own words. In myself. A new wave washed over me.  
_Roxas, let me go_  
"KILL ME!"  
Put an end to this! Now!  
But the coward I was, I threw the pillow off my head and I began to suck in air to work up another scream.  
"Roxas" Two cool hands were cupping my face, the soft voice raw with worry, pain and horror.  
My lips parted to let out the scream I had been choking on, but there was no sound.  
"Roxas, look at me!"  
I opened my eyes and looked straight into Kairi's. How the hell she got in, where the hell she came from, I had no idea, but it only meant one thing for me.  
The new nightmare was over… at least, for today.

**(A/N This may seem a 'real' story, but I hope you guys are going to suspect something by now…  
Next chapter will contain a lot of weird supernatural stuff none of you could pull off, I hope ;)  
Hope this chapter didn't disappoint any of you and that you enjoyed this just as much as the other chapters. ) **


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